So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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