We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Randomize
