At least make sure they are 18
Why
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
