We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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