After last night, I could never be a politician.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
