Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
