Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
