What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
