im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Green mimosas i think yes
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
