i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
