all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
did i walk over a car last night?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
