im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
