So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
