i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
