She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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