There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
