Hey man sorry I got all grabby
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
