i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Randomize
