He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
