is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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