If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Randomize
