I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
