Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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