you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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