Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
How does it feel to date your dad?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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