I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
