No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
she peed on how many people?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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