Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
