whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
tell me about the eggs
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