If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
we should paint friendship bongs
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