she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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