is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
