Reggie can tackle my bush.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
