final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
