its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
