and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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