Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
