I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
