I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
