My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
