i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
We need to get me chipped asap
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
