the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
