Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We have so much sex to catch up on
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
