Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
