I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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