You made me cry and you don't even care
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I need to calm my uterus...
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
