The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
