You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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