Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
it glows. i had to have it.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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