You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
