Best friends brother. Beat that.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize